Where Have You Been?

So my mom just gave me vikodin cause my ankle was hurtin hella bad.

And I'm REALLY... high, basically.

But I'm gonna try to write anyways.

SO.

Basically, my whole life I've just had periods of my life where I basically hate everyone for a little while.

Like 95% of the time I'm really happy and I love everybody, and I'm stoked about life.

But I'm just really emotionally effected by pretty much everything.

So a lot of the times just seeing some of the stuff people do to each other really gets me down.

But at the same time seeing some of the beautiful stuff that happens in life has a greater impact than it does on most people. So it works both ways.

It just kinda sucks because once I get myself down it's really hard to crawl my way back up.

And sometimes these harsh phases usually bring me to drinking and drugs and all of the stupid stuff that I shouldn't do, just because it used to be hard to really care enough to say no.

But you know, I've gotten a lot better. In the last year-ish, even when I have those moments of being bummed out, I just try to spend as much time as I can with God and pray a lot and just kind of get away from everyone. Which is kind of where I've been for the last couple weeks. I've been really angry or sad and I couldn't figure out how to fix it.

But I think I've finally reached a breaking point again, and I'm back on top. And it feels really good, knowing that I made it out without having to hit rock bottom again.

So I'm just proud of myself, I guess.