I Wants.

I was thinking I wanted a Vespa. But then I decided "You know, I hardly ever drive anywhere that's just in Puyallup. I might as well go the extra mile and just get a bike."

65/gallon. Woot.

But of course this isn't in my immediate future. That would be like a year of college right there.

Plus bikes are better for the environment than cars.

And more fun.

Rest assured, I'm not trynna be evil kenevil. that's why i refuse to get a crotch rocket. sall about the cruisers.

I Are Style.

I just realized that I am not an individual.

Everything I am is essentially something that I've seen in someone else that I've like along the way.

I'm like a salad bar of personality.

For example, I really look up to my worship leader Brandon, so I take after him a lot.

And other people I've met along the way. Like a shmorgasboard. (SP??!)

I mean, because when you mix numerous elements together, you get a totally new element, I guess that means I'm an individual. Because I am definitely not a carbon copy of Brandon. Nor anyone else that I've looked up to or seen things that I've applied in my own life.

But at the same time it makes me feel a little fake.

I draw because trevor drew.

I play guitar because my dad played guitar.

I listen to indie music because Lauren listened to indie music.

I read comic books because Seth Cohen reads comic books.

I watch indie films because Rebecca Waller watches indie films.

etc. etc. but at the same time I just realized that these aren't things that make up my personality, they're just things I do. So I guess that's ok.

Nevermind.

Bantha Fodder

By far the best song I've ever written.

As follows:

I don't wanna join the dark side

I wanna be a Jedi

I don't wanna join the dark side

I wanna be a Jedi

I'm a Jedi, A Jedi

A Jedi Master!

Yoda told me what's good

And so did Kenobi

You say you wanna be mi padre?

Homie, you don't even know me

So you can suck it Darth Vader

I don't care that you're my father

Imma cut you up with my light saber

You's abousta be bantha fodder

Hey dad, thanks for the genes

And those "midichlorean" things

Helped me blow up your death star

In my mutha effin X-Wing

I don't wanna join the dark side

I wanna be a jedi

I don't wanna join the dark side

I wanna be a jedi

I wanna be a jedi like my father was before me

I wanna be a jedi like my father was before me

Obi Wan Kenobi taught me how to be a good guy

Obi Wan Kenobi taught me how to be a Jedi

Cause you weren't there...

...no...

You cut off my hand

Now you wanna be my dad?

Well, that's straight whack.

I don't understand why I'm not signed yet.

Yungin's.

I can't sleep. I keep thinking about what my mom told me last night. I was telling her about how terribly 7th grade was for me. How I dreaded it so terribly. I would be at the bus stop and I'd be shaking because I knew that I'd get beaten up as soon as I got on the bus. And then I'd get picked on all day, then I'd have to eat lunch alone, and then I'd get beaten up again on the way home. I missed 80 days of school in 7th grade. I feign sickenss and stay home and watch reruns of Bewitchd, Magnum P.I., and Hawaii 5-0. That was also the year that I started smoking weed. I didn't tell my mom that last part, though. But she told me that was the year that that "spark" left me. She said that was the year that she could see that I was losing all of my innocence, that reality was settling in and that I wasn't the imaginative, goofy, lighthearted kid that I used to be. And it killed her.

And that reminded me of this one time when I was at the skatepark and an 8 year old (he tried to tell me he was 20, ha) tried to get me to buy him cigarettes. All I could do was laugh, really. I tried to tell him that he shouldn't smoke and he just said "You're not my mom, fuck off." Another kid said "If you're trying to bum cigarettes, then what's that in your ear?" He replied with "That's a joint, I'm saving that for later."

And now Jake, whom I've known since he was 3, is a sophomore in highschool. His goal is to go through life having never cursed, never tried alcohol or drugs, and to not have sex until he's married. I was giving him a ride home from school the other day and he was telling me how al the kids in his grade are having sex because that's like the latest fad. So instead of trading pokemon cards, it's like trading virginity's. They're not even old enough to drive and they're running around trying to have sex.

I'm tired of seeing these kids face every day like a lamb to the slaughter. I'm tired of these kids going into the combine only to be spit out a model of the same ticks and phobias and messes that we're made of. I want these kids to actually have a chance. I want to give them that chance. That's why I'm so dead-set on this youth center thing, even though everything's working against me right now. I will not stand idly by and watch these guys be forced to make such heavy decisions on their own just because they don't have anyone else to turn to.

A thirteen year old shouldn't have to smoke weed just to be accepted.

An eight year old shouldn't have to be bumming cigarettes just to be cared about.

A fifteen year old shouldn't be having sex just to be loved.

That just shouldn't happen.

Zumiez.

So I don't have very long before I have to get ready to go to work again. But yeah I've been working a lot lately. But yesterday was sick. I longboarded all the way across town to like almost Graham. Then this girl emily called me and was like "uuhhh, like omg can you work for me in like 2 hours?" So I was like "yeah, but frick! i gotta get movin!" So I started bookin it towards zumiez as fast as I could, and we're talking like... probly bout 8 miles. I also stopped by Kristen's to give her Harry Potter back and I stopped to chitchat for a bit. I ended up getting there 45 minutes early. So I bought some Taco Time and kicked it for a bit till I had to work. Then I worked for like 5.5 hours and was straight up DEAD. Super hungry, what have you. Then Aaron calls and is like "hey wanna come film with me tomorrow at 7:30 am? Also you sould come to Applebees with me, I'll pay for you." So I got the hunger issue solved. And I was totally not stoked to wake up early cause by now it's like 1:30 after I got home. But then Aaron's like "I'm hella tired. I'll just call you tomorrow if we're goin. If I don't call you it means I'm asleep still." Well, I guess he slept in cause I just woke up, and that's the longest I've slept in a long time. Such a good feeling. So I'm tryin to go cruise again as soon as it's nice out. But I have to work today and It's sposed to rain tomorrow, so bummer. Anyways, gotta go to work! Buhbye. Oh and P.S. I might be getting a 2nd job at Vans in Tacoma. :]

I Suck at Writing Now.

It's the quiet of my life

Tucked into the trees

Away from the world

It is home for me

It's the rythm of my life

Thumpin in my chest, deep

Away from the world

It is home for me

It's the music of my life

Up against the sky it sings

Away from the world

It is home for me

It's the whisper of my life

The ghosts of empty streets

Away from the world

It is home for me

My New Favorite Snack :]