Otha MC's.

So I've been revitalized yall.

I realized I don't need a posse to keep me goin. I don't need a chick to keep me fit.

I've got everything I need in my faith and my God.

As long as I keep pushing to follow my dreams and working towards my goals, than my life is fulfilled.

Nothing else really matters.

I cleaned my room today, like deep cleaned it. Because having a clean environment cleanses the soul.

Tomorrow I'm cleaning my bathroom and my Jeep. After I go for a run.

I'm getting back to doing all of the things that relieved me of stress.

I used to be so stress-free, because I took time to do things like go outside for walks, and clean regularly, and do yoga, and write, and sit on my roof, and stuff like that.

I realized that most of my spare time now goes into being on the internet or something else stupid, so I'm not going online again until Easter Sunday. It's basically Lent, but a little late. And then after Easter hopefully I'll be more used to living a more active lifestyle (like I used to), that I won't need the internet as much to fill my day.

So peace for a minute, playas. God bless!

I've still got my phone, I'm not going amish or anything. Just no internet or TV or videogames. Basically the things that waste my time. And by TV I mean television, not movies. Anyways, I'm off to do some yoga, read, and go ninight!

Gummi

Eating gummi bears, reading comic books, making playlists.

Just watched Twilight with my mom AGAIN. she's in love.

and i love my mom, so i'll sit through the angsty vampire movie again for her.

she refuses to read the books, though... for now.

i've decided that i am leaving the country one way or another by the fall.

or at least will be well on my way by the fall.

and i do have options, mind you. it's just pursuing them.

and then when i get back i'm applying at UWT, probably.

unless i decide to go to San Dimas to be a youth pastor.

we'll see.

Flint (For the Unemployed and Undrpaid)

It's not that I have anything against this town specifically. I'm just sure all restless minds have this great struggle with the place that they grew up, where they spent their adolescence. It's just a write of passage, I have to get out of here or I'll never fully grow. I'll never fully realize my potential and what I could do out in the "real" world.

This place is just such a bubble, I can feel the apathy settling in. I used to be so adventurous, I used to have this great need for bigger and better things, to explore. I wanted to see and experience EVERYTHING.

Now, I'm honestly content with working a minimum wage job in the suburbs. And that's not ok.

I'm tired of being the one left behind.

I'm tired of all of my friends taking me for granted, because they know I'm just going to be here when they get back.

I'm tired of knowing that this is it for me.

I used to think that there would be biographies written about me. That one day I'd have my own wikipedia page.

Now, I'm totally ok with the idea of none of that EVER happening, it is pathetic that I've settled for a life of normality.

Everyone always says that 5 years after highschool, they saw me anywhere BUT Puyallup. And they should've been right. I don't know. I had a dream the other day where somebody told me:

"You will never feel the wonders of God as long as you are living in a place full of walls and windows."

I think what that means is that I need to go places where there are no interstates, freeways, and traffic signals. Places where there are no Wal-Marts and McDonalds and departments stores and shopping malls. Places where you are not judged by the amount that is in your bank account. Or by the educational degree you've obtained. Or how many stories your house is.

I need to be in places where you live by the strength of your hands and will of your heart.

I need to be anywhere but here.

Hella sick.

So I have a really bad fever. Last night I was actually delirious.

And this morning I almost fainted while peeing so now I have to pee sitting down cause I can't stand up or all the blood like leaves my head.

And I have a realy really bad hacking cough to boot, so I got a grand total of 3 hours of sleep last night.

And my head hurts so bad I can't even open my eyes all the way.

Right now I'm on oxycodone though so I'm mostly just high and sweaty.

This blows.

Longboard Across America

So a couple friends of mine are leaving on monday to longboard from San Diego to somewhere in Georgia.

I guess they're skating like 20 miles each a day, or something like that. i'm not really sure how far exactly.

They'll be gone for 2.5 months and spending time at Boys and Girls clubs across america.

They just asked me to join them today.

I REALLY REALLY want to go. I know I could easily do 20 miles a day, I've done 20 miles and it's not bad. On a longboard that really only takes a couple of hours. And I probably wouldn't be going the whole 20 every day I think I'd be mostly chillin in the van with them and filming and helping at the B&G clubs. This is really the experience of a lifetime... BUT.

1. I have a job, I'd most likely have to quit, and I really like this job.

2. I have a 250 dollar traffic ticket I have to pay back by april 20th.

3. I only have 185 bucks in my bank account. Well, I get paid in two weeks too, but I haven't had time to save up.

4. I don't have health insurance.

5. Who'se gonna take care of the youth center stuff while I'm gone? It's 2 and a half months, dude!

So there's obviously a lot of things holding me back. I mean, I'd be leaving... on monday. Like, THIS monday.

So I dunno. We'll see. right now I'm probably not gonna go unless my boss is like "that's fine, we'll just put you back oin the schedule when you get back" and my mom's like "i'll pay for your health insurance while you're gone and send you money for food, don't trip." I mean that's not totally unreasonable, I can just cancle my car insurance and my phone bill and that probably about evens out, ya?

I dunno, we'll see. How cool would that be, though?

Substantial.

So I haven't actually posted, like, a real post in a while. Mostly just quick little pointless sentence fragments.

Here's the 4-1-1 i spose.

1. I go back and forth between spending too much money on clothes and spending NO money on clothes. Like, I've worn the same pair of black authentics FOREVER and like pretty much half of the left shoe is gone from skating. I really should buy some new ones, but eh... I dunno. I really like fashion, I really like expressing myself through the clothes I wear, but it just seems so feeble. Like, why spend my money on clothes when I could buy...  I don't know, really. That's my dilemma. If I don't actually save for something, I'll just spend it all on gas and food. So should I just buy clothes? Cause buying CDs and Movies (which is where it all used to go) is pointless now because of torrenting. Also, I usually just buy Vynil which is way cooler and sounds way better. I don't play videogames anymore. I'm good as far as skate stuff goes. I dunno, the only things i can think of is car stuff and music stuff. Unfortunately music stuff usually costs in the 400-2,000 dollar range and I simply can't afford that. I mean, I'm already saving money for school and stuff. And I donate a percentage of each check to the youth center. But I'm just talking the spending money that I give myself on a monthly basis.

2. Enough of that. I have basically come to the conclusion that I am starting to be the good kid that I used to be. Except I need to be challenging myself a little more. I need to be reading more, and learning more. So I just spent the last hour or so researching things that are actually important, rather than comic book and star wars references. Trust me, I am a pandora's box of those as it is. I could give you a crash course on the topography of the planet Naboo. Which is terribly sad. But I've begun to draw again. I'm making music again. I care about people again. I watch indie movies again. The only thing is that once I begin to open my heart to the world, I get into that habit of falling in love with every girl I meet, which is not cool in the slightest. I'd really like to steer clear of that, because I'm still trying to stay single until I find a shorty for keeps, and I can already feel myself starting to get attached to people that I shouldn't be getting attached to.

3. There aren't enough hours in the day.

That is basically all.

My tunes.

Roots Manuva. Estelle. Thievery Corporation. MF Doom. Nas. Martina Topley-Bird. Billie Holiday. Miles Davis. Del Tha Funkee Homosapien. The Cool Kids. and Jay Z + DJ Danger Mouse (the grey album). I got so much good music yesterday. I'm getting really into hip-hop, it's weird.

all that matters.

www.myspace.com/frankensteinvintage

making music fun again :]

Oregon Adventure.

Dude the skate church in Oregon was so sick.

There was like a 15 foot roll-in ramp that goes stragiht into a launch ramp, that shoots you right into a freakin FOAM PIT.

Imagine, if you will, me flying thirty feet in the air yelling all kinds of odd ewok-esque noises attempting some sort of areal maneuver, and then disappearing into a big pool of foam cut-outs.

M-A-zing.

There was also a rope swing that leads into it, but I was the only one brave enough to do that because it's really scary. 

Anyways, the message was also really tight. He spoke of God's wrath and the fact that humanity is naturally opposed to anything Godly, and though we strive to be good, and we may THINK that we're good people, all in all we really are evil, which is why we need God's grace to to be able to be complete and fulfilled. I didn't do a very good job of explaining, but it was really neat.

And then we hit up Burgerville. Comparable to In N' Out, and that's sayin somethin, comin from me.

Now i need sleep.

So Sunlight.

Please disregard last message.

And thank you for any of your prayers. I was just having a really hard week but I met up with some peeps to talk about it at Shari's the other night at like 11pm ha. Then I filled up my gas tank and just drove around listening to mix cd's. I went from like... Tacoma to Federal Way, then I just drove up Shaw rd then back down Shaw rd, then down Pioneer all the way to Woodland, then up to Woodland all the way up to Emerald Ridge-ish area, then all the way around the loop back to my house. This all took about 2.5 hours, ha.

But it was very healthy. I turned my phone off and just got really into the music and drove. Theraputic!

Anyways I feel really awesome now, back in tip top shape. And I've been, like, exorcizing and stuff. And using those 10 free tans my mommy got me for my b-day (little embarrassed to admit that part). But I looked in the mirror today and was like "Dang, kiddo. Lookin' good!"

Which is always a nice feeling.

By the by, I was up at 7:30 this morning, on my own accord. I just woke up, saw that it was nice out and was like "Yeah! Let's do it!"

So now I'm probably gonna go skating. It was 26 degrees when I woke up though, but it's already almost 30 so seeing as how sunny it is by like 9 it'll probably be at least almost 40, which is fine by me!

Oh, and I started reading again, which means I'll probably start writing again soon.

And last night at work all these ideas for things to draw were popping into my head, which is a very good sign, since all of my creative juices had seemingly been wearing thin.

AUGH! Just goodness! Straight goodness!

People, Sometimes Ver. 2

I love when you take like 20 minutes to write a novella blog of epic proportions, review it, and decide to delete the whole thing.

I guess I just needed to vent, but didn't want anyone to actually know what I had to say.

Story of my life.

I can't remember the last time I've just felt so utterly pissed inside for so long at once.

Just pray for me if you can, please.

Spork.

Mergh.

1. YWAM?
2. Youth Center (We have 800 dollars and haven't even sent out sponsor letters and grant proposals yet, but we're having problems with the caretaker of the building we want(ed).)?
3. School over seas (University of Aseshi in Ghana [3500 a semester including room and board])?
4. Or work and Pierce/maybe apply to UWT (I know this sounds like the most boring option, but I could still do this option and the youth center at the same time, probly, AND it's the most 'productive' option, whatever that means.)?

So those are my options right now.

OR!!

Work for minimum wage at Zumiez till I become a manager then a district manager and basically work retail for the rest of my life till I die from an aneurism at 54.

That isn't really an option for me.