You've Arrived.

I'm really happy. Seriously.

I just met with Heidi last night and we talked about my internship and I'm REALLY excited. It's funny because she was worried that it was going to be a little too demanding, or structured, or whatever. But I told her I actually expected to be pushed. I WANT to be held accountable. I want to know, black and white, what I can and cannot do. And if I don't follow that, then yeah, I want there to be consequences. I don't think I should be a leader if I'm not being held to a higher standard, so I welcome it. And my life is so crazy and unpredictable, it would be really nice if I could know that for sure, once or twice a week I'm going to be meeting with the church staff. And that every day I will read my bible. And that every day I will be held to the same standards as the day before. I really am excited for that sense of consistency, because my life for the last... decade, probably, has just been really up in the air most of the time.

I started a weekly small group called Cross Cruisers. We just meet up once a week, we pray that God will look out for us and keep us all from getting hurt, and then we go boarding and tear up the streets. Then I say "I'm gonna go do devotionals and get something to eat, anybody who's down can come with me, I got extra bibles!" And whoever wants to can go, and whoever doesn't want to, they don't have to feel obligated to. I'm really not trying to shove a bible down anyone's throat. I just want there to be a definite presence of God, and I want them to know that the option is always open. But mostly it's just about giving these kids a place to hang out once a week and a group of peeps to kick it with where they're safe (relatively), and don't have to worry about being judged and scrutinized. And it's all about having fun! To follow what we're doing a little more closely check out www.myspace.com/crosscruisers. I've got a homie filming for us and we're gonna take a lot of pictures so we'll post 'em all up after our first skate sesh this saturday! I also post bulletins from there saying where every skate sesh is gonna take place that week, so if you're interested in coming along, just add me on there and you'll officially know the word on the street!

Zumiez Couch Tour is coming up soon, they've been working me like crazy. I wasn't even scheduled this week and they've been calling me in last minute three days in a row now and I always end up working like.. ten hours. But I need the money for my trip in July! Desperately. But life keeps throwing curveballs at me, and I keep having to spend money here and there on things. I may have to start saying "no" to things, which is really hard for me. You know, like... "Evan, let's go see a movie!" Or, "Evan, come out to Seattle I haven't seen you in so long!" Stuff like that. Because I've burned through like 50 bucks in a week. Which is a lot for me, cause I can usually make that last 2. (I'm talking about aside from essential stuff like bills and gas.) But we'll see.

Also, two of my really close friends have both come back into my lives, like within a week of each other. These cats were both like my BEST friends back in the day; it's funny because all three of us used to hang out, and none of us have really spoken in a year, and now we're all really close again all of a sudden. And I'm really happy because we've all kind of been in this crazy place in our lives for the last couple years, and it seems like we all kind of broke apart, and figured it all out on our own, and now we're together again, and we're all... I dunno I feel like we're all complete people. We all know what we want out of life, and we both know there's more out there than the material and the parties and all that stupid crap that fills the belly of our society. It's really cool, and I just finally feel like... I dunno. Like "God, Ok. I get it now." This is why we went through all of that guff, so we could climb our way out and be whole when we resurface. It's really neat.

I dunno, I've just been so happy these past few months, even through some of the hard stuff that's happened. Because I know now that I've got someone taking care of me and looking out for me, and that in the end it's all up to Him. And that's seriously really comforting. And I know to some of you that may seem like a false sense of security, but I'm telling you. I've SEEN HIM IN ACTION. And He is very real.