There's Some Adam in Me.

It's odd that my great great great x34253462 grampa was the founder of original sin. And his wife was a dumb chick who talked to snakes.

It's odd how hard and calloused our hearts become after being dropped only a few times.

It's odd that the few deserving, soft-hearted people get hurt by the people of the aforementioned group.

So hard-heartedness is like an epidemic. And those infected can't help but seek out people who are innocent and hurt them, bring them down to our level.

People wander through their lives in one fashion or another.

So many of us just give up. Spend our days locked in our room, too overwhelmed to get out of bed. Wasting away on internet quizzes and the promise that tomorrow, we'll get out there and show some gusto.

Or we refuse to take a minute to be quiet. We rush through everything, and once something's done there is always something else to be done. Because the more we have to DO, the less time we have to THINK. And the more we think, the more we realize that there's something missing.

And then, of course, there's the very few of us who have found a balance. That have somehow made it out of this mess unscathed. Or are just so resilient, that none of the scratches and bruises matter. They just keep living, and loving, and smiling. They have something to believe in. They know what they want, and every day is a little devotion to that one thing. And really, whether they get that one thing or not, it doesn't really matter. It just helps to have faith in something.

Please don't tell me to have faith in God. Please don't tell me to have faith in myself. Or in love. Or in peace. Or in whatever. Because whatever you can think of, these are things that I have sought solace in.

And tomorrow, I will probably go searching for answers in all the familiar places.

I will open my bible. I will sing songs. I will paint pictures. I will read books.

But today I just take a minute to wonder why I bothered getting out of bed this morning.

Because my mind can't help but wander to places where God isn't real. And everyone has just found out. And all the world is in a panic.

Or where Love has failed. And Peace has forsaken us. And all the nations have opened fire. And all the husbands and wives are fucking each other and everybody else. Because there is no more making love. Only sex. And nobody sings songs. Because if there's nothing left to believe in, there's nothing to sing about.

I wonder where I would be in this place. If I would go out into it and try to change things.

Or if I would just sit and wait for tomorrow.